Once Upon a Time, in a Village called Seoul...

This past Saturday, my friend Jim (who I met through my TEFL class and is also teaching in Korea) and I met up for an adventure in Seoul. An adventure it would indeed turn out to be. Let's start from the beginning, when I took the subway to meet Jim at the Incheon Bus Terminal and was partially assaulted by a deranged Korean man. As I sat alone, quietly reading a book, this lovely man came up to me and attempted to rip the book out of my hand. I fought with him at first but then decided that perhaps I should just let go and let him have it, as our struggle was getting neither of us anywhere. I figured that if he started to run away with it, I could easily run him down and take it back. After all, we were on the subway and my legs were longer. However, he merely held it for a couple seconds and then threw it back at me. An older Korean woman, sitting across from me, seemed to be trying to comfort me and tell me not to worry because that man was just crazy, which appears to have been the case as he was now walking up and down the aisle muttering. Bless this woman. Screw that nutcase.

After I met Jim, we went back to Incheon for a bit, where I garbage picked for the first time. We spotted a comfy, unwanted chair, found a shopping cart, and wheeled it back to my apartment. This was a good thing. Next was some Korean barbecue, soju, and Cass (a Korean beer), which are also good things.

Next, we took the subway to Seoul. Our destination was Itaewon, an area for foreigners. On the subway, we met an older man from Afghanistan. He was probably between 50 and 60, had twelve kids, and he insisted on helping us navigate the subway (though I actually could have done it myself and would have preferred to). But he seemed nice and even let me have the rest of his cashews. I hadn't had a cashew in weeks, so I was thankful. When we got off of the subway, he wanted to take us to grab a bit to eat. We agreed. Since we are Americans, he knew that we obviously wanted McDonald's, so that's were we went. So there we were, two young Americans and an older man from Afghanistan enjoying McDonald's in peace. And people think that our relationship with Afghanistan is shaky. Clearly, this is not the case, thanks to the healing powers of McDonald's.

We said goodbye to our new friend (who wants to go clubbing with us this weekend and I suspect also make me one of his wives...jesus christ, no and no) and proceeded to check out some of the shopping on the street, where we purchased scarfs that have the Korean flag and the word “Korea” stitched upon them. They looked stupid and cheesy so, naturally, we wanted to own them. We wore them all night and looked lame but felt awesome. The night continued with some drinking and lots of eating, courtesy of the street vendors. Checking out and enjoying the late night eating on the streets has been one of my favorite experiences in Korea thus far. The food is super cheap and super bad for me. Among the food devoured was the best corn dog to ever touch my taste buds (even if the hot dog was a little cold...the breading was deep fried perfection), some octopus or calamari or something like that, some fish thing on a stick, and there had to be at least one more treat that I enjoyed...but it's all a food blur. The streets were full of people eating and drinking and being joyous. We also met a fellow Chicagoan, who was very friendly and a wonderful conversationalist.

At some point in the night, perhaps around 2 or 3 a.m., we decided that it was time to journey back to Incheon. SURPRISE! The subway closes for awhile late at night and it wouldn't open again until 6:00 am. So, to kill time, we continued to eat, drink, and nap at bars and on the ground of the subway station. Jim did most of the napping, I stayed awake and did most of the drinking...because someone has to look out for that little guy. We got home at 8:00 a.m..

It was a fun, interesting, long, and very different night. It somewhat reminded me of a strange night that one can have in Key West...only much more taxing and less warm...and with no nudity.

I take that back. There was partial (and I when I saw partial, I do mean very, very partial) nudity in one bar that we went to as we witnessed a lady of the night seduce her evening companion, which seems pointless because I'm fairly certain that he was a sure thing. What a waste of energy.

To my strangest night in Korea yet. Cheers.