The Point System

I've decided to keep Korea and Elise on a point system. Whichever party has the most points when I leave wins.

Korea + 1 point for having buttons on the tables at restaurants.

Korea -3 points for squatters/public toilets where you have to squat.

Korea +2 for your barbecue, where you wrap your delicious meat, garlic, and whatever condiments you so choose in lettuce.

Elise +1 for being the most polite person on the subway.

Elise -1 point for one time accidentally sitting in the area reserved for the elderly, handicapped, and pregnant.

Korea -2 points for producing a Korean version of the musical Legally Blonde...it just doesn't translate.

Elise +2 points for your dedicated support of Korean street food.

Korea +3 points for providing Korean street food.

Elise -1 point for Elise's stomach, who has already often suffered from indulging in too much Korean street food.



Current score: Korea 1, Elise 1

This Post is Dedicated to My Father

There are several adventures/experiences/opinions that are on my blogger agenda. However, all comes second to this hot topic, which I felt needed immediate blogging attention.

I doubt that this topic is exclusive to Korea. I'm sure you could come across a similar situation in the states, perhaps at the Costco or Sam's Club. Regardless, it is a situation that I felt was worth discussing.

I bought what I thought was a pack of butter from the grocery store. The packaging led me to believe that there were, of course, four sticks of butter enclosed. "Oh, how well stocked I shall be for topping popcorn and sauteing vegetables," thought I.

What I received, rather than my four normal sticks of butter, was one ENORMOUS BUTTER STICK. I named him GIGANTOR. He will be delicious.

My father will be dying of envy when he reads this.

Don't worry Pops, I FedExed you your own GIGANTOR earlier this day.

The Good and the Bad of Korea (Part 1)

Good :)

Nanta- I went to the theater this past Sunday evening and saw a truly wonderful and entertaining show, Nanta (which mean's "Cookin'" in English). It is extremely famous and popular in Korea. It is one of those shows in which the actors play music using everyday objects as instruments, like Stomp. In this case, knives, pots, pans, and things of the sort are used. However, in the end, they use regular drumming instruments and just go to town. The whole show was one of the most fun experiences I've ever had in a theater. ALSO, I was dragged onstage (they target foreigners). The audience was split into two teams and I was brought up to cook for my side, the blue team. I, of course, WON. Duh.

Pagers- In many restaurants and bars in Korea, there is a button you press to page your server. It's perfect. In one bar, they even have a buzzer at each seat so that the server knows exactly who to go to. So, you never have to be thirsty. Ever. The Thirsty Whale needs to get in on this idea quickly.

Recycling- The Koreans are very adamant about separating the trash and recycling. In fact, I was walking around a shopping area in Seoul, eating some ice cream, and I decided that I was finished with the ice cream. I went to the entrance of a store, where I saw a trash can. Before I could place my trash in the can, an employee came out of nowhere, took my ice cream and walked away. At first, I was certain that she was suffering from ice cream envy and taking my sweet treat to the employee lounge to finish it off. However, a friend informed me that I was about to place my food trash in a non-food garbage can. There is also a recycling center outside my apartment, where there is usually an old man on duty to make sure that everyone recycles properly. Good for Korea.

Street Food- I've mentioned street food in other posts but I just need to reiterate how much I love the culinary street fare, especially on a night out. Deep fried squid, deep fried sweet potatoes, stuff on sticks, rice noodles in spicy sauce, wraps filled with goodness, blah, blah, blah. Half the time, I don't even know what I am shoving down my gullet, but I always enjoy it. And for only 1,000 or 2,000 won (1 or 2 bucks)!

Eat, DRINK, and be Merry- Along with the endless sea of food available on the street, it is legal to drink on the street. It's like being in Key West, only you aren't on vacation. You are just living your life. Your booze soaked life. God Bless Korea.

Saving Energy- If you drive around Seoul or Incheon, the desire to save energy is not very easy to see. It is a very industrialized area. HOWEVER, in almost all buildings, heat is not used throughout. For example, the hallways of my school are not heated. Yes, this makes for a cold walk from class to class, but it is a mild moment of inconvenience that saves money on the heating bills and, more importantly, energy. Also, Koreans do not use dryers. They line dry their clothing. What patient people.

Bad :(

Saving Energy- I don't have a dryer! I need that pair of underpants NOW!

Female Attire- Korean women, especially around my age and perhaps a little younger dress up and/or wear super trendy clothing ALL THE TIME. At first, I found this to be a good thing and was really into their fashion sense. Now that I realize how much time they into their appearance, it has become tiresome. They also (and I am barely generalizing at this point) wear high heels in all situations OR they wear some type of platform shoe. Many also dress overly feminine. Lots of bows. Lots of frills. And the SKIRTS. The SKIRTS and SHORTS are what get me. There can be a blizzard destroying the streets of Seoul, and a large percentage of the young women will still have their asses hanging out of their skirts or shorts. I can't go on, I have too much to write on this topic. Next time you see me, just ask me about it.

Pushing- Koreans are pushers. Especially the little old ladies. Ooooooh, they are aggressive.

Crowds- Korea is crowded. Very crowded. Combine the crowds with the pushing and things can get very hairy.

Apartment Pics

Here are some recent pictures of my apartment. Things have changed a little since the video tour, such as the acquirement of my Korean throne and the flowers I stuck to the wall. I was very against stickers on the wall, but I have not been able to find any decent prints and I think that they actually look alright. If you don't like them, then fly your behind to Korea and put up some wallpaper for me, ok?! Also, bring me some goods from Pottery Barn because I don't care for the majority of my furniture. Still, I am grateful to have made it from a room with just a bed and one dining room chair to the fully furnished, much more cozy habitat you see now...and all I have had to purchase is some flower stickers, a mirror, and a picture frame! The rest was looted or garbage picked. Bless Korea.

Also, I KNOW that one of the pictures is not placed in the correct way but after two times of trying to fix it, I GAVE UP. Enjoy it, anyhow.

Korea To Do List

I suppose that I should have some goals while I am in Korea. They keep me busy. Also, if I post them on this blog, I think that I am more likely to accomplish them because if I fail, others shall know. Elise Tolish doesn't fail. Not usually. Just sometimes. Sooooo, by next February, I plan to...

1. Be named teacher of the week and teacher of the month. That means less emotional beatings and more "educating".
2. Get in the best shape of my life. I want to able to fit into all of the professional looking pants that used to fit me (before I could even use them) and are waiting for me at home. But mostly, I want to stick it to little Julie.
3. Speak a decent amount of Korean or really just enough to communicate without having to play charades anytime I want something to eat, drink, or purchase something. Also, improving my Hangul reading and writing is included in this category.
4. Read most of the books on my bookshelf. I have one down. That's a start. Plus, this book was some weird, pretentious, modern lit piece of nonsense so everything after it will be a treat. Jane Eyre is next, which is more to my liking. Also, I keep Don't Know Much About American History on my coffee table to read the occasional excerpt.
5. Hike a Korean mountain. Maybe a few, if time permits. I may even commission a statue to be placed atop one of these mountains, either of me or of Bill Pullman (because I feel like he deserves one somewhere).
6. Learn to cook a Korean dish or two. Although, I am hesitant towards this one because I bought some kimchi the other day and the smell overpowered my fridge. Perhaps something less potent.
7. Make one child cry.

That's really it for now. My list is not too exciting, but it is there.

Once Upon a Time, in a Village called Seoul...

This past Saturday, my friend Jim (who I met through my TEFL class and is also teaching in Korea) and I met up for an adventure in Seoul. An adventure it would indeed turn out to be. Let's start from the beginning, when I took the subway to meet Jim at the Incheon Bus Terminal and was partially assaulted by a deranged Korean man. As I sat alone, quietly reading a book, this lovely man came up to me and attempted to rip the book out of my hand. I fought with him at first but then decided that perhaps I should just let go and let him have it, as our struggle was getting neither of us anywhere. I figured that if he started to run away with it, I could easily run him down and take it back. After all, we were on the subway and my legs were longer. However, he merely held it for a couple seconds and then threw it back at me. An older Korean woman, sitting across from me, seemed to be trying to comfort me and tell me not to worry because that man was just crazy, which appears to have been the case as he was now walking up and down the aisle muttering. Bless this woman. Screw that nutcase.

After I met Jim, we went back to Incheon for a bit, where I garbage picked for the first time. We spotted a comfy, unwanted chair, found a shopping cart, and wheeled it back to my apartment. This was a good thing. Next was some Korean barbecue, soju, and Cass (a Korean beer), which are also good things.

Next, we took the subway to Seoul. Our destination was Itaewon, an area for foreigners. On the subway, we met an older man from Afghanistan. He was probably between 50 and 60, had twelve kids, and he insisted on helping us navigate the subway (though I actually could have done it myself and would have preferred to). But he seemed nice and even let me have the rest of his cashews. I hadn't had a cashew in weeks, so I was thankful. When we got off of the subway, he wanted to take us to grab a bit to eat. We agreed. Since we are Americans, he knew that we obviously wanted McDonald's, so that's were we went. So there we were, two young Americans and an older man from Afghanistan enjoying McDonald's in peace. And people think that our relationship with Afghanistan is shaky. Clearly, this is not the case, thanks to the healing powers of McDonald's.

We said goodbye to our new friend (who wants to go clubbing with us this weekend and I suspect also make me one of his wives...jesus christ, no and no) and proceeded to check out some of the shopping on the street, where we purchased scarfs that have the Korean flag and the word “Korea” stitched upon them. They looked stupid and cheesy so, naturally, we wanted to own them. We wore them all night and looked lame but felt awesome. The night continued with some drinking and lots of eating, courtesy of the street vendors. Checking out and enjoying the late night eating on the streets has been one of my favorite experiences in Korea thus far. The food is super cheap and super bad for me. Among the food devoured was the best corn dog to ever touch my taste buds (even if the hot dog was a little cold...the breading was deep fried perfection), some octopus or calamari or something like that, some fish thing on a stick, and there had to be at least one more treat that I enjoyed...but it's all a food blur. The streets were full of people eating and drinking and being joyous. We also met a fellow Chicagoan, who was very friendly and a wonderful conversationalist.

At some point in the night, perhaps around 2 or 3 a.m., we decided that it was time to journey back to Incheon. SURPRISE! The subway closes for awhile late at night and it wouldn't open again until 6:00 am. So, to kill time, we continued to eat, drink, and nap at bars and on the ground of the subway station. Jim did most of the napping, I stayed awake and did most of the drinking...because someone has to look out for that little guy. We got home at 8:00 a.m..

It was a fun, interesting, long, and very different night. It somewhat reminded me of a strange night that one can have in Key West...only much more taxing and less warm...and with no nudity.

I take that back. There was partial (and I when I saw partial, I do mean very, very partial) nudity in one bar that we went to as we witnessed a lady of the night seduce her evening companion, which seems pointless because I'm fairly certain that he was a sure thing. What a waste of energy.

To my strangest night in Korea yet. Cheers.

Elise vs Little Julie

My first week of teaching went well. At ICEV, the 300 or so kids that come every week are broken into six different job experience classes- Mozart, Picasso, Shakespeare, Gaudi, Einstein, and Gates. Each job experience class teaches English within the context of music, art, theater, architecture, science, or computers. I am (surprise, surprise) a Shakespeare teacher. I had two different Shakespeare classes, each consisting of 11 students. Three days a week, I have just one class at a time. Twice a week, I have 22 students at once. This week, I had them all to myself, although the curriculum is being revised soon and there will be 22 students in every class and much more co-teaching...which I am not at all excited about. To me, co-teaching is more of an obstacle than it is helpful. There are a lot of changes happening at ICEV that make very little sense, this being one of them. But I don't want to get started on that topic. Not now. Anywho, while my Shakespeare class takes up the bulk of my day, I also taught everyday experience classes, which are classes about the airport, bank, hotel, hospital, sports, nature, automobiles, cooking, library, etc. I taught hospital, library, and writing.

I grew very fond of my Shakespeare students. They were a little older, perhaps around age 11 (although Koreans count age differently so I'm always a little confused on just exactly how old anyone is...I think that I'm actually 24 in Korean age..YUCK). For the most part, their participation was very good and they seemed to be enjoying the lessons and having fun. Of course, between my two classes, there was one group whose enthusiasm and participation was better. Still, I loved teaching both classes. By the end of the week, they grew very comfortable with me and there were lots of hugs...and also lots of abuse from three of my girls. I felt like I was back in Wisconsin with my little cousins, who like to call me the “beat up” cousin. It seems that wherever I go, children feel the urge to abuse me. Oh well, I have it coming. However, I have seen other ICEV teachers get this type of attention from the students...male teachers. No matter where I am, it seems that people never want to believe that I am indeed female and perhaps fragile. Luckily, fragile I am not, otherwise I would never have lasted this long. No, sir.

A few more little notes about Korean students. Number one, they are very good at drawing. In some classes, they make comic books and the sketching abilities far exceed those of American students. Sorry, little Americans. One of my students was so kind as to give me a picture that she drew of me. It was much better than the one produced by the creepy Korean man at the local bar a couple weeks ago. It also didn't have a phone number scribbled on the back. Number two, they want to call you once the week is over. I learned an important lesson this week. That lesson is to never leave my phone (which I use to keep time) within reach of the children. During my students' break, when I wasn't paying attention, a couple of the girls grabbed my phone, found my number, and wrote it down. I discovered this later in the week when these girls wanted me to sign their notebooks at the spot where they had written “E teacher” (which is what the students call me) and my phone number. In a state of alarm, I pointed to the phone number and asked, “What is this?!”. “Ah, teacher's phone number. Yes?”, they replied. I lied and told them that they had the wrong number but they insisted that it was correct. I have been afraid to answer my phone ever since. Number three, my students think I'm fat. “Teacher, fat!”, said little Julie on Tuesday. This didn't bother me too much. I had been warned against Korean students making comments like this to foreign teachers, so I was not shocked. Then, at the end of Friday performance, little Julie got little Cindy and little Jenny in on the joke and proceeded to grab my belly, pinpointing the precise location of the said “fat”. I have been talking the stairs rather than the elevator ever since. I live on the twelfth floor.

Ultimately, it was a great week! It was a very, very tiring week but also fun and rewarding. And the wonderful thing is that every week I get to meet a new group of students and make new connections all over again! As of now, I have come to the decision that this job was a good choice. I hope that my opinion of ICEV stays positive. We shall see after the new changes are implemented. Still, whatever changes happen at the school, what remains the same is the kids and the fun that I have teaching them. Therefore, everything will be fine. And things will get even better when little Julie comes back and goes for the belly only to find a set of rock hard abs. Abs that she drove me to acquire. Eat that, little Julie.